Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Recipe: Chocolate Covered Banana Pops
12:20 PM
Chocolate Covered Banana Pops
This recipe was a big hit at my parents house on Christmas Eve! The only note I have for this recipe is, at the time I did this recipe I did not have any popsicle sticks in the house so I ended up using plastic forks as you will see if you look closely at the picture above.
Small warning when eating these; Chocolate will be hard on the outside, but the banana on the inside will be fairly soft as bananas do not freeze completely.
The picture seen above is an actual picture I took of my completed pops, it is not taken from the internet or played with in anyway.
3 ripe large bananas
9 wooden popsicle sticks
2 cups (12 oz package) dark chocolate chips or semi-sweet chocolate chips
2 tbsp shortening (do not use butter or margarine)
1 1/2 cups coarsely chopped unsalted peanuts
1. Peel bananas; cut each into thirds. Insert wooden stick into each banana piece; place on wax paper covered tray. Cover; freeze until firm.
2. Place chocolate chips and shortening in medium microwave safe bowl. Microwave at medium 1 1/2 to 2 minutes or until chocolate is melted and mixture is smooth when stirred.
3. Remove bananas from freezer just before dipping. Dip each piece into warm chocolate, covering completely; allow excess to drip off. Immediately roll in peanuts. Cover; return to freezer. Serve frozen.
Tips/Tricks/Notes
This recipe was a big hit at my parents house on Christmas Eve! The only note I have for this recipe is, at the time I did this recipe I did not have any popsicle sticks in the house so I ended up using plastic forks as you will see if you look closely at the picture above.
Small warning when eating these; Chocolate will be hard on the outside, but the banana on the inside will be fairly soft as bananas do not freeze completely.
The picture seen above is an actual picture I took of my completed pops, it is not taken from the internet or played with in anyway.
Labels:
Sunday, December 27, 2009
The Mortal Instruments
I'm part way into book 2, City of Ashes of the Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare and I just wanted to share some amazing fan artwork I found of two of the main characters; Clary and Jace. The artist captured both characters exactly how I pictures them. So far this series has been highly addictive - I've barely been able to put the books down!
Just in case you don't know much or anything about this series, here are some details. I promise there will not be any spoilers!
Author: Cassandra Clare
Genre: Young Adult Fiction - Fantasy
"Fifteen-year-old Clary Fray is introduced to the world of the Shadowhunters, a secret cadre of warriors dedicated to driving demons out of our world. And she''s introduced with a vengeance, when Clary''s mother disappears and Clary herself is almost killed by a grotesque monster sent by the evil and powerful Shadowhunter, Valentine. How could a mere human survive such an attack."
Book 1 - City of Bones
Book 2 - City of Ashes
Book 3 - City of Glass
Book 4 - City of Fallen Angels (Coming March 2011)
Website: http://www.mortalinstruments.com
Recipe: Peanut Butter Blossoms
Peanut Butter Blossoms
48 Hershey's Kisses
3/4 cup Smooth Peanut Butter
1/2 cup shortening
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup packed light brown sugar
1 egg
2 tbsp milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
Extra granulated sugar
1. Heat oven to 375 degrees. Remove wrappers from chocolates
2. Beat peanut butter and shortening with electric mixer on medium speed in large bowl until well blended. Add 1/3 cup granulated sugar and brown sugar; beat until fluffy. Add egg, milk and vanilla; beat well. Stir together flour, baking soda and salt; gradually beat into peanut butter mixture.
3. Shape dough into 1 inch balls. Roll in additional granulated sugar; place on ungreased cookie sheet.
4. Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until lightly browned. Immediately press a chocolate into center of each cookie; cookies will crack around edges. Remove to wire racks and cool completely.
Tips/Tricks/Notes
I absolutely LOVE these cookies - I warn, they are very addictive if you like peanut butter!
My only notes to make about these cookies is the same as I did with the macaroons:
Once you have added the kisses to the cookies, the kisses start to melt. Be VERY careful when moving the cookies off the cookie sheet as the kisses will deform. Also note, I kept these cookies in the fridge, but they are definitely better if eaten at room temperature due to the kiss getting very hard if the cookies are eaten directly from the fridge.
The picture seen above is an actual picture I took of my completed cookies, it is not taken from the internet or played with in anyway.
48 Hershey's Kisses
3/4 cup Smooth Peanut Butter
1/2 cup shortening
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup packed light brown sugar
1 egg
2 tbsp milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
Extra granulated sugar
1. Heat oven to 375 degrees. Remove wrappers from chocolates
2. Beat peanut butter and shortening with electric mixer on medium speed in large bowl until well blended. Add 1/3 cup granulated sugar and brown sugar; beat until fluffy. Add egg, milk and vanilla; beat well. Stir together flour, baking soda and salt; gradually beat into peanut butter mixture.
3. Shape dough into 1 inch balls. Roll in additional granulated sugar; place on ungreased cookie sheet.
4. Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until lightly browned. Immediately press a chocolate into center of each cookie; cookies will crack around edges. Remove to wire racks and cool completely.
Tips/Tricks/Notes
I absolutely LOVE these cookies - I warn, they are very addictive if you like peanut butter!
My only notes to make about these cookies is the same as I did with the macaroons:
Once you have added the kisses to the cookies, the kisses start to melt. Be VERY careful when moving the cookies off the cookie sheet as the kisses will deform. Also note, I kept these cookies in the fridge, but they are definitely better if eaten at room temperature due to the kiss getting very hard if the cookies are eaten directly from the fridge.
The picture seen above is an actual picture I took of my completed cookies, it is not taken from the internet or played with in anyway.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Recipe: Peanut Butter and Chocolate Chip Cattails
Peanut Butter and Chocolate Chip Cattails
1 cup Milk Chocolate Chips, divided (1/2 cup + 1/2 cup)
1 cup Peanut Butter Chips, divided (1/2 cup + 1/2 cup)
2 tsp shortening (DO NOT use butter or margarine)
12 to 14 pretzel rods
1. Stir together milk chocolate chips and peanut butter chips. Place sheet of wax paper on tray or counter top. Finely chop 1 cup chip mixture in food processor or by hand; place on wax paper. Line tray or cookie sheet with wax paper.
2. Place remaining 1 cup chip mixture and shortening in narrow deep microwave safe bowl. Microwave at medium 1 minute; stir. If necessary, microwave additional 15 seconds at a time, stirring after each heating, until chips are melted and mixture is smooth when stirred.
3. Spoon chocolate-peanut butter mixture over about 3/4 of the pretzel rod; gently shake off excess. Holding pretzel by un-coated end roll in chopped chips, pressing chips into chocolate. Place on prepared tray. Refrigerate 30 minutes or until set. Store coated pretzels in cool, dry place.
Tips/Tricks/Notes
This is a very quick, very easy recipe to do! I don't have too much to add to this recipe, it's fairly straight forward. My only recommendation well preparing this recipe is to let the mixture cool slightly after removing from the microwave and before spooning it onto the pretzels. I found the hotter the mixture the harder is was to get the chopped chips to stick to the mixture on the rods. Also, I used semi-sweet chocolate chips in place of the milk chocolate chips as that was what I had on hand.
Pretzel Rods - the only store I was able to find these was the Bulk Barn. Below is a variation if you can't find the pretzel rods or would like to use regular pretzels.
Variation: Melt entire package of chips with 4 tsps of shortening and dip small pretzels into mixture.
The picture seen above is an actual picture I took of my completed cattails, it is not taken from the internet or played with in anyway.
1 cup Milk Chocolate Chips, divided (1/2 cup + 1/2 cup)
1 cup Peanut Butter Chips, divided (1/2 cup + 1/2 cup)
2 tsp shortening (DO NOT use butter or margarine)
12 to 14 pretzel rods
1. Stir together milk chocolate chips and peanut butter chips. Place sheet of wax paper on tray or counter top. Finely chop 1 cup chip mixture in food processor or by hand; place on wax paper. Line tray or cookie sheet with wax paper.
2. Place remaining 1 cup chip mixture and shortening in narrow deep microwave safe bowl. Microwave at medium 1 minute; stir. If necessary, microwave additional 15 seconds at a time, stirring after each heating, until chips are melted and mixture is smooth when stirred.
3. Spoon chocolate-peanut butter mixture over about 3/4 of the pretzel rod; gently shake off excess. Holding pretzel by un-coated end roll in chopped chips, pressing chips into chocolate. Place on prepared tray. Refrigerate 30 minutes or until set. Store coated pretzels in cool, dry place.
Tips/Tricks/Notes
This is a very quick, very easy recipe to do! I don't have too much to add to this recipe, it's fairly straight forward. My only recommendation well preparing this recipe is to let the mixture cool slightly after removing from the microwave and before spooning it onto the pretzels. I found the hotter the mixture the harder is was to get the chopped chips to stick to the mixture on the rods. Also, I used semi-sweet chocolate chips in place of the milk chocolate chips as that was what I had on hand.
Pretzel Rods - the only store I was able to find these was the Bulk Barn. Below is a variation if you can't find the pretzel rods or would like to use regular pretzels.
Variation: Melt entire package of chips with 4 tsps of shortening and dip small pretzels into mixture.
The picture seen above is an actual picture I took of my completed cattails, it is not taken from the internet or played with in anyway.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Recipe: Macaroon Cookies with Kisses
Macaroon Cookies with Kisses
1/3 cup butter or margarine, softened
1 package (3 oz) cream cheese, softened
3/4 cup sugar
1 egg yolk
2 tsp almost extract
2 tsp orange juice
1 1/4 cups all purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
5 cups sweetened coconut flakes, divided - 3 cups + 2 cups
48 Hersey Kisses
1. Beat butter, cream cheese and sugar with electric mixer on medium speed in large bowl until well blended. Add egg yolk, almond extract and orange juice; beat well.
2. In a separate bowl stir together flour, baking powder and salt; gradually add to butter mixer. Stir in 3 cups coconut.
3. Cover; refrigerate 1 hour or until firm enough to handle. Meanwhile. remove wrappers from chocolates.
4. Heat oven to 350 degrees.
5. Shape dough into 1 inch balls; roll in remaining 2 cups coconut. Place on ungreased cookie sheet.
6. Bake 10 to 12 minutes or until lightly browned. Immediately press chocolate peice into center of each cookie. Cool 1 minute. Carefully remove to wire rack and cool completely.
Tips/Tricks/Notes
Note: This recipe can be done without the chocolate kisses to get just normal Macaroons.
Once you have added the kisses to the cookies, the kisses start to melt. Be VERY careful when moving the cookies off the cookie sheet as the kisses will deform. Also note, I kept these cookies in the fridge, but they are definitely better if eaten at room temperature due to the kiss getting very hard if the cookies are eaten directly from the fridge.
Separate yolk and egg white - this recipe calls for just an egg yolk and I had no idea how to go about doing it. This is a trick I learned from Kevin. There may be other tricks out there, but this is the one I know. Using a spoon or any utensil carefully make a small hole in the top of the egg - make sure the hole is small enough that the yolk will not come through! Once you have the hole, just tip the egg over and carefully shake it until no more egg white is coming out. Easy as that!
The picture seen above is an actual picture I took of my completed cookies, it is not taken from the internet or played with in anyway.
1/3 cup butter or margarine, softened
1 package (3 oz) cream cheese, softened
3/4 cup sugar
1 egg yolk
2 tsp almost extract
2 tsp orange juice
1 1/4 cups all purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
5 cups sweetened coconut flakes, divided - 3 cups + 2 cups
48 Hersey Kisses
1. Beat butter, cream cheese and sugar with electric mixer on medium speed in large bowl until well blended. Add egg yolk, almond extract and orange juice; beat well.
2. In a separate bowl stir together flour, baking powder and salt; gradually add to butter mixer. Stir in 3 cups coconut.
3. Cover; refrigerate 1 hour or until firm enough to handle. Meanwhile. remove wrappers from chocolates.
4. Heat oven to 350 degrees.
5. Shape dough into 1 inch balls; roll in remaining 2 cups coconut. Place on ungreased cookie sheet.
6. Bake 10 to 12 minutes or until lightly browned. Immediately press chocolate peice into center of each cookie. Cool 1 minute. Carefully remove to wire rack and cool completely.
Tips/Tricks/Notes
Note: This recipe can be done without the chocolate kisses to get just normal Macaroons.
Once you have added the kisses to the cookies, the kisses start to melt. Be VERY careful when moving the cookies off the cookie sheet as the kisses will deform. Also note, I kept these cookies in the fridge, but they are definitely better if eaten at room temperature due to the kiss getting very hard if the cookies are eaten directly from the fridge.
Separate yolk and egg white - this recipe calls for just an egg yolk and I had no idea how to go about doing it. This is a trick I learned from Kevin. There may be other tricks out there, but this is the one I know. Using a spoon or any utensil carefully make a small hole in the top of the egg - make sure the hole is small enough that the yolk will not come through! Once you have the hole, just tip the egg over and carefully shake it until no more egg white is coming out. Easy as that!
The picture seen above is an actual picture I took of my completed cookies, it is not taken from the internet or played with in anyway.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Recipe: Nanaimo Bars
Nanaimo Bars
Bottom Layer
2. Add egg and stir to cook and thicken. Remove from heat.
3. Stir in graham wafer crumbs, coconut and nuts.
4. Press firmly into an ungreased 8" x 8" pan.
Middle Layer
2. Beat until light. Spread over bottom layer.
Top Layer
2. Once cool, but still liquid, pour over second layer and chill in refrigerator. Another way to try them is frozen - it may sound strange, but they taste excellent!
Tips/Tricks/Notes
I originally found this recipe online, but have made some adjustments. I found the original recipes middle and top layers amounts did not do enough to completely cover the layer below so I made the adjustments to solve this problem (the above recipe is the adjusted one). Also note, with the bottom layer, stay right to the recipe with the butter amount otherwise the extra will run out of the mix.
The picture seen above is an actual picture I took of my completed bars, it is not taken from the internet or played with in anyway.
Bottom Layer
- 1/2 cup unsalted butter (european style cultured)
- 1/4 cup sugar
- 5 tbsp cocoa
- 1 egg beaten
- 1 1/4 cups graham wafer crumbs
- 1/2 cup finely chopped almonds
- 1 cup coconut
2. Add egg and stir to cook and thicken. Remove from heat.
3. Stir in graham wafer crumbs, coconut and nuts.
4. Press firmly into an ungreased 8" x 8" pan.
Middle Layer
- 1/2 + 1/4 cup unsalted butter
- 3 tbsp and 3 tsp cream
- 3 tbsp vanilla custard powder
- 3 cups icing sugar
2. Beat until light. Spread over bottom layer.
Top Layer
- 8 squares semi-sweet chocolate (1 oz each)
- 4 tbsp unsalted butter
2. Once cool, but still liquid, pour over second layer and chill in refrigerator. Another way to try them is frozen - it may sound strange, but they taste excellent!
Tips/Tricks/Notes
I originally found this recipe online, but have made some adjustments. I found the original recipes middle and top layers amounts did not do enough to completely cover the layer below so I made the adjustments to solve this problem (the above recipe is the adjusted one). Also note, with the bottom layer, stay right to the recipe with the butter amount otherwise the extra will run out of the mix.
The picture seen above is an actual picture I took of my completed bars, it is not taken from the internet or played with in anyway.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Universal Truths from Our Generation
Random thoughts from people 20-35 years old...
-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
-That's enough, Nickelback.
-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
-There is a great need for sarcasm font.
-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
- I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."
-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories
-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
-That's enough, Nickelback.
-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
-There is a great need for sarcasm font.
-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
- I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."
-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories
-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
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